If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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