I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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