WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
