I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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