SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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