so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
