I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
