i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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