you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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