Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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