I'm so fucking centered right now
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
