I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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