Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
