"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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