i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
