i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
