Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
