I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
