This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
