Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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