ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
