I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
false alarm. still invincible.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
