i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize