The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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