She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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