If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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