We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He passed out mid-signature
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
