This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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