So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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