OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I need help removing her.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
