why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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