i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My vagina is very pro this idea
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?