Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
