how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
