walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
