He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The feeling are messing with the penis
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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