I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
