Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
