so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
