Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
