It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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