kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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