last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
