Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
