dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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