butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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