Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Randomize