Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
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They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
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im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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