the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
