you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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