its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
