hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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