i just google imaged poop.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
