I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
