I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
