Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
