i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
