i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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