Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize